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So she did what she always did when she wanted a fast buck: She emailed Ralph, one of the wealthy “pay pigs” who served her, gifting her clothes, shoes, gadgets, groceries, luxury vacations—whatever she demanded. Not handcuff him or lead him by a leash attached to his balls. “I had to make it clear that he wasn’t good enough to be in my presence,” says Astrid, a tattooed redhead in her early 30s, who lives and works on the Lower East Side.
She was starting a new gig at a graphic design studio, and lacked professional attire. Just remind him, yet again, by email, what a worthless piece of dirt he was.“There’s a difference between me saying ‘Hey, I need new boots,’ and ‘Hey, I need new boots because my Bull is coming to town and wants to fuck me rotten.’ ” Many relationships are virtual, conducted via Skype, webcam, email, text or just regular phone.Some Fin Doms advertise online (at websites like findoms.com, a kind of Linkedin for the subculture, or financialenslavement.com, which poses the enticing question, “Does the thought of surrendering your finances to intelligent and attractive women turn you on? Most doms accept credit cards, Pay Pal, Amazon gift cards, and of course, cash.As with the buzzword dujour, the interaction must be “authentic,” with the Fin Dom maintaining an image of superiority at all times.If she lets the mask drop, the scenario loses appeal. Rosenfeld, 31, who, with shoulder-length honey-colored hair and a lean form, could be an androgynous flower child, an erotic sprite.For many practitioners, it’s just one piece of their overall domination repertoire.
“Ninety-five percent of the men who contact me have no interest in sex—period—with me,” says Dee, who has been in the S&M scene for about six years both here and abroad; financial enslavement and cuckolding are among her specialties.
“The financial aspect is one way to exercise control, but Grey doesn’t really wield that as one of his tools as much as some other things within BDSM,” explains Mistress Dee, a fan of the book.
“It’s ultimately a romantic story about a man who seeks to control and improve the woman he loves who also happens to be a billionaire.
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Rosenfeld, a part-time poet and porn actor who recently scaled back his practice to pursue other ventures, got into the dom world in his early 20s with this then-girlfriend. The men they saw were usually between ages 40 and 60, people usually with power—and families. They like making financial sacrifices (though many have a disposal income, so the sacrifices aren’t too great); consensual blackmail is part of the allure, as is the relinquishing of control.