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I was very ill when I had my daughter, nearly died in the emergency c section and had to spend a month in hospital missing out on precious time with my mother but thankfully I was with her when she died. I find each day unbearable and find it harder and harder.I can't sleep at night and break down all the time. Feel like part of me has died too and I struggle to get back up again.I never went a day without seeing mum, how am I meant to go through a lifetime without her?I stay awake for hours in the night thinking and crying.Sometimes I have dreams and wake up thinking she is still alive and want to go to her, then it hits me that she's gone and I breakdown.
Time is not making it easier for me, there's more happening that my mum is missing out on like my baby's first words, crawling etc.
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During that time in hospital, I needed my mum more than anything and it really hit me how alone and cold life is without her.
I have a son prior to this baby and my mum helped me bring him up and did everything for him and taught me everything. It makes me so sad that my daughter is missing out on so much and my mum cannot pick her up and cuddle her.
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