10 texting rules dating etiquette
“Sue” connected with a man on Tinder, they had a couple emails, and then he started texting. I’m going to give you some straight scoop about what texting really means and doesn’t mean.He sent her pictures of the baseball game he attended. She told him about her car trouble and he responded ‘why didn’t you ask me to come help? And, most importantly, how you can take control of the situation – like a grownup! If you are like Sue, Lila or Melissa, here is what you need to know: Continuous texting, when void of in-person meeting, creates a false sense of connection.
If you’re trying to engage in a conversation or express frustration, anger or disappointment, don’t hit Send! It will probably go better; and most importantly, you won’t have to wait for a response (or, even worse, give him ample time to write a message designed to manipulate rather than communicate). If you’re the one constantly texting him first, even if it’s just say hello or check in, you’re setting the framework for your relationship.Expecting him to move on to something more serious isn’t realistic. There are so many ways to know if a man is a serious guy who is interested in getting to know you. It’s a type of false connection that sets up incredibly unrealistic assumptions and expectations.I’ve seen countless women create complete fantasies and get drawn in — often before they even meet a man. With no tonality in messages, texting back and forth creates enormous opportunities to misread and misunderstand intent.Yes, we are all busy people, and I know it’s sometimes hard to respond when you know it will probably end up as a full on text conversation, but you should always respond.That is, of course, if you want to stay friends with the person. : Keep your messages marked as new in case you aren’t responding right away. The Two Day Rule: If it takes you two days to get back to me, I technically have two days to get back to you. : usually these texts are sent late at night or after someone gets dumped. THE IRONIC RULE: DON'T TEXT IN ALL CAPS: IT SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE ANGRY !! The L O L Rule: Don't use "lol" more than you have to.However, if you’re looking for a balanced relationship with a quality man who is relationship-ready, make sure he puts in the effort to “court” you. If you feel like he’s taking “ too long” (whatever that means to you) and you often send multiple question marks instead of giving your guy some time to reply (Maybe he’s in the shower! As long as you’re not playing games, being actively engaged in your life ultimately creates a bit of mystery. Texting is great; just keep yourself in check so instead of driving your man away, you keep him interested.
Over the past few years it seems that almost every dating dilemma I hear from my coaching clients and girlfriends has something to do with the texting. He told her how busy he was and she felt flattered that he was keeping in touch.
Please feel free to share them with your friends and family who may not know the error of their ways. The Golden Rule: Do not call in response to a text message. But seriously, if someone wants to talk to you on the phone they’ll call you.
If you call in response to a text you can expect one of two things: either a phone call with a person who is frustrated by your lack of social skills or an ignored phone call and the awkward text conversation that will follow it. The Rule of Response: Always respond, unless you don’t want to be friends with that person anymore.
But if you’re dating a new guy or in a relationship and your text is so long it has to be divided into three paragraphs, it’s definitely too long.
Also, it’s very easy to misinterpret texts since you aren’t communicating directly. If you are, then you’re definitely guilty of over-texting and unrealistic expectations.
But I’ll say it again, doing a bunch of texting first creates an unrealistic sense of connection.